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A conscious acknowledgement of our common purpose as fulfilment without harm so we may organise ourselves, our justice systems, our economies, our organisations, and our societies to enable our pursuit of it. The organising principle of fulfilment without harm must override the pursuit of money and/or power. Specifically: (more...)

Friday, April 19, 2019

'Think Forward to Thrive' Quotations

Think Forward to Thrive, by Jennice Vilhauer, is a useful book for thinking about your life and learning to thrive. She calls it Future Directed Therapy (FDT). Here are some quotes:

“One hypothesis of Future Directed Therapy (FDT) is that the desire to pursue rewards and to thrive promotes the evolutionary progression of humankind. Every human invention, from the first stone tool to the supercomputers we use today, has been driven by the desire to improve our circumstances. In order for forward movement and thriving to continue, there must always be a difference between where we are in life and where we want to be.” p4-5

“In FDT we believe that when people feel they have the power to obtain what they want, they experience wellbeing. However, when they feel they are unable to move into their desired future state, they experience distress.” p5

“Often people think they are focusing on what they want, but if they are not feeling good about it, what they are likely focusing on is the fact that they do not yet have what they want.” p5

“FDT teaches people to recognise that their emotions are indicators of what they’ve been thinking about. … In FDT people are taught to observe their feelings and to shift the focus of their thinking toward more of what they want in life.” p6

“To put it simply, FDT is about helping people to identify the process by which they create their future and to direct the process in a way that generates a greater sense of thriving and wellbeing.” p6

‘…create your future by choice … gain awareness of your thought processes and … choose the life you want.’ p12

“The desire to thrive is a fundamental instinct that is always present. No one ever reaches a state where the desire to thrive ends. … Thriving is not a destination that we reach permanently fulfilled, but rather an ongoing experience of personal growth and evolution.” p15

“…what people seek in life is the process of growth” … “Constantly reaching for increased states of thriving causes us to continue to grow and evolve as people.” p16

“The choices we make create our life.” … “The power to choose your thoughts and behaviours is the one right and freedom you are guaranteed.” p18

“If change is what you desire, you are the one who must open the window and step through, using the power of your choices.” … “When you own your choices, you own your power.” p19

“…the thoughts and behaviours you try to alter must be your own. While you may not like someone else’s behaviour, you only have control over yourself and how you think and feel.” p74

“What unwanted aspect of the situation am I focusing on? What do I really want to have happen in this situation? … focus on what you control with your thoughts and actions, not on things that are out of your control, such as other people’s behaviour.” p81

“If you presume that how you feel is dependent on how other people behave, you have relinquished all control over your wellbeing to people over whom you have no control.” ... “Believing that your happiness depends on someone else almost always results in frustration and unhappiness.” p99

“What matters most is that you learn to value your own opinion of who you are and what you do.” … “When you do what is truly right for you and take care of yourself, the people who care about you will be happy for you. Those who only care about what you do to make them happy are probably not worth having around.” p100

“The guide to what is right or wrong for you personally is whether or not your actions lead you to feel better or worse about who you are and where you are going.” p101

“…trying is the purpose of life. Success comes from trying, no matter how many times you fail.” p101

“You are a conscious being continuously in the process of becoming; you are not stuck with a defined identity based on your personal history.” p117

“…you are the only person who knows your situation, so you will need to make choices that feel right for you…” p171

“…taking an alternate route or changing your destination doesn’t mean you are giving up; it just means you are owning your freedom to alter your course at any time.” p171

“…by not taking action toward something we want, we are taking action against it.” p200

“A bad relationship can help you clarify what you want in a good relationship, such as understanding and shared purpose, so that you will seek out these things with your next partner.” p200

‘Instead of focussing on what’s wrong … focus on the improvement you want instead.” p200

“Protecting and defending your right to thrive should be your highest priority. This means taking the best care of yourself you can and not allowing people or situations to pull you away from your own wellbeing. If someone in your life does not support your choice to live well, then keep moving away from that person until his or her influence does not affect you.” p201

“There is no arbitrary standard that you have to measure up to and no place that you have to go." … "The goal is really just to thrive, have fun, and enjoy what you decide to do.” p202

Ben Wallace
Author The Common Purpose
LinkedIn - http://nz.linkedin.com/in/benwallace13
Twitter - http://twitter.com/BenDWallace

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